June 2021

June the 6th

would've been nice to have a physical diary, but carpal tunnel syndrome is addicted to me. at least i filled my old journal, much more consistant than i've ever been before. i started writing diaries after that one ep of adventure time.. or is this a journal? is there a difference? do i give a shit? that's the only question i have the answer to. it's a no. i've been trying to move back to traditional things, and emma said that my handwriting "looks like it's from a fantasy game, like zelda or something, i know you're the biggest zelda fan ever". so cute, now i'm kind of obsessed with my handwriting. totally random but it's like the absolute #1 thing i get compliments on. next to my bulging muscles, my 7'2 figure, my charm, ect. gonna try making an entry every day. maybe i’ll make a few of ‘em all pete-wentz-y, that’s the goal isn’t it? i already think in edgy metaphors most of the time anyway. dunno, the goal of aiming to sound like someone else ain't exactly appealing to me, but i do love a good emo blog post. whatever, im just here to look cool and ramble about nothing and everything all at once, thank you very much. and im here to do that in relative obscurity. all i want is a place where no one i know irl will ever find me. like sure, if you knew me irl, you could probably figure out this was my account, but you'd only find the account in the first place if you were really stalker-level looking. maybe i like those odds.

went out with ayse. weather is always bad here, raining like shit. we had to share an umbrella. kicking my legs and screaming into my pillow and twirling my hair as i think about it. she kept looking at me. we didn't do much other than hang around at the mall, but it was fun. vinyl window shopping and eating mcdonalds in the freezing rain is dogshit, but it's cool to be dogshit. i asked her what color i should dye my hair, when i get the balls to do it under my moms nose, and she said purple. she said purple suited my eyes. gayass. we also played xbox at her house, well, she did. and i watched. i've always been pretty shit at video games. BUT. i crush rhythm games under my heel. when i was like 11, i was #5 on the osu leaderboard. no lie. it's the thing i'm best at. i really missed ayse, she'd been gone to her hometown in romania for two weeks. i would've hugged her when i saw her, but for some reason.. i didn't.

June the 7th

out with ayse.. again. we're pretty co-dependant. went to this small polish shop today, which was really fun, we got a lot, but most importantly, a huge watermelon. grocery shopping for two is always easier than for one. it's also easier when she knows how to really cook stuff. it was a cold one today, so shame on me for wearing a skirt. which i suck at. i suck at femininity. every thrift shop on earth stinks like shit. we laughed until we couldn't breathe looking at all the weird dvds in there. my friend group has this tradition of going into the second hand shop and buying all the clearance 50c dvds and watching them. our best find was high school musical 3. here's one of the cds i found over there. fucking rocks honestly. i'd love to collect all the shitty ones we don't watch and burn the discs. (future me update: i did it ;) ) ayse's like. kind of a half crush right now. saying half crush because i kinda like her but i’m not that crazy but also i’d date her if she asked me out? we've dated like twice already but i'm always fumbling the bag, OK. grow up. get over it aine.

June the 13th

i tried coffee for the first time today. is that too late? i'm 14 and until yesterday i've never had coffee. you're a loser, dude. i used to be way petty about not drinking coffee (LMFAO??) because a girl i rejected was obsessed with coffee. like i swear to god. who makes coffee a personality trait. maybe that'll be me. iced coffee is fucking heavenly aswell, i'm kind of the defintion of gay stereotypes. i went out with ayse emma and aoife, we played one piece monopoly, like the anime, that's so random. me and emma are really competitive. i came second, only because emma has beginners luck. i'm the monopoly goat. we went to the store and bought a chocolate cake for 15 euro because.. we're insane or something. no idea what we'd do with it so we went on famousbirthdays and chose somebody random to dedicate this cake to. happy bday, chris evans. i have the same birthday as hayley williams. sick or what. she's so fucking cool.

June the 24th

i went to woodies. bought a pepper flower (?? what's wrong with me) and.. another one. the name is escaping me but it's sexy af. i can finally harvest food like how i do it in stardew valley. lol jk. i'm going on holidays next week so it'll die off by the time i get back. kind of cruel for me to be buying flowers. poor things. the road to woodies is dangerous as hell, and ayse has balls of steel i guess, she kept crossing without looking, we had to run across it and dodge cars. i was laughing so hard when ayse almost fell. there was a broken down wall beside the store, and now i have a piece of it in my drawer. i stopped everyone so i could go shove it in my pocket. trash mammal. one time, on my road, a dude stole a government car and crashed it into a wall. it looked like that. BTW, i'm writing this entry booty ass naked. incase you were wondering.

authors SECRET note: one thing i want to work on is how fucking messy this shit is!! ugliest-website-layout-of-all-time goes to: this douche